The Birth of Matthew
I'm very passionate that Hypnobirthing is a powerful toolkit that can be used for all births, even if things don't quite go how you planned or expected them too on the day. The goal of Hypnobirthing should never be to achieve a 'perfect birth'.
For me, Hypnobirthing completely changed my mindset and really helped me to feel calm in the lead up to my birth. I felt extremely confident and knew that no matter what happened, I had the tools I needed to support me. This did so much to support my mental wellbeing.
And my 'hypnobirth' didn't go to plan! But I still had the most amazing birth experience thanks to the powerful techniques I had learned and practiced.
Discover exactly how Hypnobirthing helped me to stay calm and relaxed and how I still felt fully in control even when my planned homebirth turned into a hospital birth.
Hopes for my second birth
Full disclosure - I had a really difficult first birth.
So, when I discovered I was pregnant for the second time, I knew I wanted this birth to be very different. I signed up to a Hypnobirthing course and came away with so much confidence and knowledge about how to support the natural process of birth that I planned a home water birth with minimal medical interventions.
Preparing for birth
After my Hypnobirthing course, I spent the rest of my pregnancy practicing my techniques, listening to my MP3 tracks, reading my affirmations and spending time visualising my birth.
If I needed some more research, evidence or advice on a certain topic, my Hypnobirthing teacher was there for me. This was such invaluable support to have and it was reassuring to know I had an expert in my corner to discuss things with.
I worked together with my birthing partner to pull together my 3 birth plans. I had my
Plan A - home birth
Plan B - hospital birth plan (in case I couldn't birth at home for any reason or had to transfer in!)
Plan C - my c section plan
Planning for all eventualities and looking into all of my birthing options really gave me such a sense of confidence. I knew that no matter what happened on the day my amazing Hypnobirthing techniques would be there for me - whether I ended up with my plan A, B or C birth, I felt really confident going into birth.
I had also built up such a strong sense of trust in my body to birth my baby and even started to feel excited!
The Big Day Arrived
Fast forward to 40 weeks - at around 9pm, I started having what I can only describe as mild period cramps that didn't seem to be going away. I asked my husband to get me a hot water bottle and said I thought things were 'happening'.
I decided to try and get some sleep, knowing I would need my energy for the rest of labour.
At around 3am, I started feeling really restless and like I needed to get up and walk. So I paced around my kitchen island, eating toast, with my 'period' type cramps still coming every so often. I knew I was in labour and felt a bit giddy - I was so excited to meet my baby! The cramps were completely manageable and still very mild. I could basically get about my life as usual at this stage. I managed to go back to sleep at around 5am and managed another few hours rest. When I woke later that morning, the 'period' cramps were still there and they still had no regular pattern to them. I decided to have a warm bath and watch a comedy show on Netflix to boost my feel good hormones. I was actually laughing through my labour twinges at this point! My community midwife was due to come out to my house anyway that day for an appointment and when she arrived, I told her I was in the early stages of labour.
As she did her usual checks, I practiced my calm breathing techniques to stay relaxed.
As she took my blood pressure she sighed, "Oh Emma."
I knew it was bad news, but kept calm thanks to Hypnobirthing.
Sadly, my blood pressure was quite high and I could feel my homebirth slipping away...
Staying Calm and Focused
It's at this point that the old me would have started to freak out.
But, amazingly, I managed to stay really calm. This surprised me as usually I'm someone who can spiral quite rapidly with anxiety and worry. I can only put this calm response down to Hypnobirthing and the deep mindset work I had done in pregnancy to build my confidence.
I worked through the B.R.A.I.N decision tool with my partner & decided I would make my own way into the RVI. This is where my previous difficult birth has been but I was still remarkably calm despite my planned homebirth going completely out of the window.
I followed my instincts entirely.
The midwife left and I quickly ate lunch.
I could feel my cramps ramping up in intensity, coming in waves like strong period pains. I sharply told my husband that we needed to go to hospital now. I could feel things getting stronger but still wouldn't describe this as painful. It was more uncomfortable. The car ride to the hospital was difficult and I started timing my contractions on the Freya app.
To make the car journey more comfortable, I kept my eyes closed and listened to a calming Hypnobirthing MP3 which was an amazing distraction. The MP3 track really helped me to focus inwards and breathe through my surges. Getting out of the car at the hospital was a huge relief! I found that my contractions were so much more comfortable and manageable when I had freedom of movement to walk around. My contractions were now coming at pretty regular intervals. I could feel them starting, building, rising and falling. Still very very similar to period pains and not what I would describe as 'painful' at all.
I stayed upright and really enjoyed swaying from side to side with my eyes closed. I had my happy music playlist on and found it relatively easily to breathe through my surges at this point.
A student midwife suggested I switch the Freya app off and stop timing my contractions. I actually found this so helpful! Rather than focusing on my contractions, I could just fully let go and let my body do it's thing.
Sadly, after monitoring, my blood pressure was still high.
I had a discussion with a midwife and doctor about next steps. I used my Hypnobirthing decision making B.R.A.I.N. tool and, after a vaginal examination, I made the decision to go to labour ward, still feeling calm and in control. When I arrived on the labour ward, the room I was put in was very clinical and bright- the complete opposite to the cosy homebirth environment I had planned! But rather than spiraling into fear mode, I took some deep breathes and declared 'right! Let's get this room looking a bit nicer' and started getting my candles, room spray and aromatherapy roll on out. I knew from my Hypnobirthing course that my birth environment was really important to help labour progress.
By this point, things had really ramped up with my surges and I had a LOT of pressure in my lower back. I stripped my clothes off and sat under a warm shower, with the water running down my back. Alongside my breathing techniques, this really helped me to manage the pain.
This is when I noticed that my surges had changed. I was starting to zone out when they were rising and felt like I was going into 'another world'. I could no longer speak at all whilst I was having a contraction - a clear sign of active labour!
A massive thing for me was having my birthing partner close by. When I was out of the shower, it was a huge comfort holding onto him, swaying, breathing and listening to my music whilst having a contraction.
Once the surges ebbed away, it was like being snapped back into reality, fully conscious and alert, with zero pain.
I was still very calm. My blood pressure was taken again on labour ward and it had come right back down to within a normal range. I couldn't believe it if I'm honest! It just goes to show the power of being able to stay calm and how it can physically impact your body.
The consultant came into the room and the next thing he said took me by complete surprise...
"I can see from your birth plans that you were planning a homebirth. As your blood pressure has come down, I'm happy for you to go back home" I was completely gob smacked. I asked for more time to think and he left the room. I knew from the sensations I was feeling that I wouldn't make it home in time. I used my B.R.A.I.N decision tool again and after chatting to my husband, I decided to ask the consultant if I could go downstairs to the birthing center "Yes, of course" was his response. After packing up my tealights and putting some clothes on, I made my way down to the birthing center, stopping on the way to close my eyes and breathe through my surges.
When we got into the room I had a little cry - from pure relief and happiness. I stripped my clothes off and got myself into the shower - my ultimate source of comfort at this stage!
I asked my husband to get the midwife to fill the birthing pool as I felt I needed the relief of being submerged in water. Whilst the midwife & my husband prepped the pool/room, I was standing up in the shower, head pushed against the wall with the water running down on my back. The pressure was extremely intense in my lower back and going up onto my tip toes helped. This was all pure instinct- my body led and I followed.
I was starting to loudly moan and become very vocal during my contractions and knew I needed some more pain relief. I could feel that something had changed as they were now becoming very intense.
I kept repeating the affirmation 'I can do this, I am doing this' in my head.
I told the midwife that I needed gas & air!
Whilst I'd been in the shower, ,u husband and midwife had set the room up so beautifully - the only light was coming from my LED candles which were all around the pool. It was exactly how I had imagined my birth space at home.
All of my contractions were still in my lower back and the pressure was very intense. I was still being very loud and vocal at this point, like deep low moaning.
The only position I felt comfortable in was kneeling with my head hanging over the edge of the pool. I used the gas & air when I needed to and was really zoning out now, focusing deeply inwards. I was repeating mantras to myself in my head and using the self hypnosis techniques I had learned on my Hypnobirthing course:
I can do this I AM doing this During the peak of my contractions I counted to 10 in my head and this massively helped distract me. I had my happy music playing, my husband held my hand and the midwife poured warm water onto my back. When my contractions ended, I felt like I was back in the 'real world', with no pain and could take a breath & grab a drink. The gas & air soon started to make me feel a bit 'out of it' so I immediately stopped using it. Then, everything changed.
Welcoming Our baby
My contractions started to feel 'pushy', until this urge was completely overwhelming. This wasn't something I could control or 'breathe through' either - for me, pushing was instinctive, guttural and very primal. I was literally roaring my baby down and was now being really loud! I heard the midwife say something about getting the 'bed ready' and this actually spurred me on loads as I knew it meant my baby was close to being born. My waters broke and 2 contractions later at 8.50pm, my beautiful baby was born. Calmly and gently in the water, just like I'd spent all those months planning. I scooped my baby up myself and brought him to my chest immediately for skin to skin.
My very own Hypnobirthing baby! I instantly fell in love with my baby and was so proud of my body. I couldn't believe the power and strength I had inside of me all this time to birth my baby naturally with barely any pain relief.
It was Hypnobirthing gave me the confidence to do this! My birth was by no means 'perfect'.
And it definitely didn't 'go to plan'.
But I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that it was Hypnobirthing that helped me to remain calm and in control despite the obstacles I faced. This is what helped me to have such a positive and powerful experience.
Hypnobirthing changed my life and I knew from the moment I placed my baby on my chest that I had to become a teacher myself.
I truly believe that all birth has the power to be a transformative and empowering experience, even if things don't go quite how you expect them too.
In fact, I think Hypnobirthing is even more powerful when things don't go to plan!
Love Emma
Hypnobirthing and antenatal teacher
xxx
Who am I?
Hi, I'm Emma. 5* rated Hypnobirthing and antenatal teacher and the founder of Blooming Births Hypnobirthing.
I pride myself on offering honest, bespoke and evidence based antenatal courses, developed after years of extensive training.
After giving birth to my own two babies, I continue to work closely with the Newcastle Maternity units and stay up to date with current working practices so that you are well informed about what to expect from your local trust.
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 I'm also an affiliate member of The Royal College of Midwives and a breastfeeding peer support volunteer. I'm continually updating my knowledge, including training with the UKs leading midwives, doulas and birth rights consultants.
Looking for an antenatal course? Wondering if Hypnobirthing is really for you?
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